Hey friend,
I want to expand a bit of the video I made a while ago “Take it for granted“ - because for some people it brought a lot of clarity and after that created more questions!
So to recap that video, I was saying that our reaction to “good“ nights can teach us how to react to “bad“ nights. Let’s say if we rejoice and celebrate a “good” night, then the reaction to the “bad” night would be as intense, but in an opposite way. But when our reaction is pretty neutral for a “good“ one, so will eventually be the reaction to the “bad“ night. And that would help us to let go of control over sleep (which is the point of the recovery).
Soon I started to get comments like: “so, is it bad if I feel happy after a good night?”, “I slept well last night, and I know I shouldn’t celebrate it, how can I stop doing that?”
Wait, wait, wait, dear :)
You don’t have to suppress your emotions, even the pleasant ones. There is nothing wrong with the emotion itself! What is more important is what happens after that.
The brain has a tendency to jump on a “success” as a way to get some sense of control. But to stop it from doing that we don’t have to intentionally lower the elevated emotions, but just to see through its tricks.
We don’t need to renounce happiness so that we can “teach“ the brain the right reaction. It is enough just to lower the importance of a “good” night – but we can keep the good mood!
Here is an analogy for you to understand what I mean (I came up with it while doing email coaching with a client): imagine you walk on the street and find a dollar on the pavement – it’s nice for sure, but insignificant in general. You know that dollar won’t make any difference to your wealth and you don’t hold an illusion that it will, but it’s just nice as an episodical thing. No need to feel guilty for feeling good! So you just move on with whatever you feel and next time, if you walk of that street and don’t find any money – you don’t get upset, because it is not a big deal!
Let me know if this made sense in the comments!
Cheers!
Ali
Hey Alina,
That was an amazing analogy. I just had a pretty good night and I was wondering how should i really feel about it. This sleep letter dropped in just in time for me. Now things are a bit more clearer :).
Thank you !