End of the year insomnia
As the end of the year and holidays are approaching, I notice an increased demand in support among people who struggle with sleep.
There are a few seasonal periods when people usually begin to feel more anxious about their sleep and often go through the setbacks around that time, like Christmas, New Year and daylight saving time shifts.
Let’s understand why that is that we feel more vulnerable with our sleep around these days?
1. We want to enjoy the holiday season
Natural desire. Insomnia is the last thing we want to experience of the days like this. While we might find it easier to accept wakefulness on the ordinary days, we do want to enjoy the holidays. But as the importance of sleep grows, so does our anxiety around it, and paradoxically that can disrupt sleep.
2. We have some exciting trips planned
Similar to the first reason, sometimes Christmas holidays is a good opportunity to meet a family that lives far away. But that also means to sleep in a different setting – which can also feel triggering to the brain.
3. We wrap-up another year
This one usually acts like a deadline for our journey. Often people set the goal for themselves - to become insomnia-free until Christmas or by the end of the year. And as that deadline approaches, we feel the pressure to “make it on time“. Even if we don’t do it intentionally, sometimes the brain keeps the track of the timeline, telling us something like “another year and you are still struggling!“ and of course it can create more worry and doubt in ourselves.
These were just some of the possible reasons why we feel more tense around this time. And now, what shall we do with it? How to approach it?
New, special, unfamiliar attracts the brain
Since the memory of sleep struggles is somewhat fresh, the brain can be still sensitive to any changes in our surroundings. It gets very tempted to keep an eye on us, just to make extra sure that we are okay and safe.
It's completely normal and just shows that our safety system works perfectly (even though the object of fear is not a real threat).
But as we are going through this suspenseful period, two things are important to keep in mind:
a) anyone can have sleep disruption on special days, especially when some travelling is involved – even people without insomnia (sometimes people just don't sleep great when they travel – for whatever reason!)
b) feeling the increase of hyperarousal around that time, if it happens, is completely normal. When we demystify this experience, when anxiety and hyperarousal don’t catch us by surprise, we can actually feel more alright when it happens and paradoxically have a pretty okay time!
The truth is our brains in general feel cautious with changes (changes stimulate the brain one way or another) and when it comes to the fear of sleeplessness, brains tend to hate changes and love predictability and stability.
But the main thing about changes is that with time a change stops being new or unfamiliar – and that's when the brain feels safe again! So even if some sleep disruption happens during this period, just know that it's temporary!
That still doesn't mean that sleeplessness will happen 100%, anything is possible! I often hear from people that despite fearing how things will go, they ended up sleeping with no problem, to their surprise.
Mental preparations
So if some of you feel a bit uneasy about the upcoming weeks, that’s normal.
Instead of looking for the ways how to prevent sleeplessness from happening, we can try to put another question: "how will I respond if sleeplessness happens during this time?" That can already place us into a more accepting state and also feel safer: because the brain will also receive some sense of certainty.
Stuff the brain tells us has an agenda
Remember, the brain’s task is to keep you safe. And whatever it tries to convey to us:
I should hurry up with fixing sleep
Another year and I am still struggling
I thought by this time I would be alright
What if another year will end up the same way?
etc etc
has nothing to do with the reality as such.
In fact, the intention of those anxious thoughts is to keep us in the game of chasing sleep and trying harder. In other words, the brain has its agenda when it sends us these messages; it needs to create in us the sense of urgency to do more efforts to sleep. But since the stuff it sends us is also automatic (our safety mechanism is a programmed response), we can question things it tells and see them for what they really are.
Wishing you a peaceful and joyful holiday season!
Lots of love <3
Ali
DISCLAIMER: Not medical advice. Everything in this newsletter and website represents personal opinion and experience and is provided for informational purposes only. The author is not a medical doctor, psychotherapist or any other licensed professional. Any information provided by the author does not constitute and/or substitute medical, psychotherapy, counselling or any other professional advice and treatment. It is not intended to treat, cure, diagnose any medical or psychological condition or disorder. Always seek professional licensed help if you have any health concerns.