How to make right decisions in recovery

Hey friend,

Today, let's talk about daily life choices when navigating insomnia recovery. I know that for many people, myself included, this has been challenging.

It can be hard to know what to do sometimes.

• Do we push ourselves to go to that social event, even if we're scared – or stay home, because that feels more supportive right now?

• Do we read that book that brings us peace – or think it's a sleep effort we should avoid?

• Do we start applying for a new job – or wait until sleep feels more stable?

These aren't easy questions. And the truth is, there's rarely a single "right" answer.

💪 Those who firmly believe in exposure and pushing through discomfort might say: "Obviously, you need to go to that event, avoid reading books to relax before bed, and start applying for jobs right away."

🪶 Those who believe in gentler approaches prioritize comfort above all.

⚖️ And then there are people like me – the middle-way folks. To me, any sort of rigidity, whether it leans toward force or softness, becomes problematic in the end.

I've learned that being too rigid in either direction can be tricky. If we push ourselves relentlessly without compassion, we risk burnout. But if we avoid all discomfort, we risk building a life so carefully cushioned that it starts to shrink around us.

My way is to use the best of both worlds: more courage where it feels appropriate and more kindness where it feels helpful. Which approach to use when – that's for our personal exploration.

While I don't have an exact guide on when to choose what, here are a few insights that can help guide your decision-making:

1. Safety doesn't guarantee the outcome.

Even when people create near-perfect conditions – no social stress, no noise, ideal routines – sleep can still feel disrupted and fear may still show up. And when everything is "perfect," the brain starts thinking, "Now I must sleep well." That pressure alone can create a trap. So next time you choose the more comfortable path, ask yourself: "Even if I choose comfort and safety, am I open to the possibility that it doesn't lead me to the outcome I want?"

2. You're not obligated to live up to anything.

Sometimes we feel guilty for canceling plans or deciding to stay home. But really – how unreasonable is it for anyone, insomnia or not, to change their mind about plans? What if you don't need to explain, justify, or apologize for choosing what feels most aligned that day?

3. Beware of waiting for perfect conditions.

Thoughts like "I'll go on that trip once I'm sleeping better" or "I'll start going out again once I stop feeling anxious in the evenings" can keep us stuck. That desire to "get everything right" before we live can be the very thing that keeps us from moving forward. Life doesn't wait for the ideal setup – and the truth is, those ideal conditions may never fully come. What if now is already “good enough“?

4. You won't know until you try.

We often avoid plans because we don't know how we'll react – but that means we also don't give ourselves the chance to be pleasantly surprised. I've seen it time and again: the dreaded trip turns out just fine, the night out becomes enjoyable. But you only learn that by going.

5. Set realistic expectation on what “success” is.

When we try to do something in life, despite the fear, we often think we need to do it without feeling anxious, tired, or upset.

“I’ll go out with friends and I’ll try to remain calm and enjoy the evening“ or “I’ll go on a trip and I’ll try to see if I can sleep there“.

That's a big trap – because when we try not to feel or experience something, we're more likely to experience it! What if the goal was to proceed with our plans AND feel whatever comes up? When anxiety shows up, we can take it as a sign that we're doing this right – we're embracing discomfort instead of running away from it.

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I hope this made sense, friend.

Take good care of yourself ❤️

Alina

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P.S. For 1:1 coaching call inquiries, just drop me an email at alina@sleepcoach.sk.

P.P.S. Want to go deeper? Join the Fearless Sleep Library membership — a space for in-depth learning: