Overcoming the "Square one" feeling and moving forward
Hi friend,
I want to start this letter with an invitation to check out my latest podcast episode with Coach Daniel Erichsen. It was such a great and deep conversation where we talked about things that haven’t been yet discussed. I hope you will find it valuable ❤️
Today, I want to share my thoughts on a universal experience of anyone going through insomnia recovery – the feeling of being back at what seems like SQUARE ONE.
You're not alone in this. We've all stood there, facing the fear of starting all over, feeling the shadows of the previous sleep struggles. It's a journey I know all too well.
No doubt, the beginning of our insomnia can be so frightening and emotionally traumatizing. In coping with that trauma, our brain naturally tries to shield us from it in the future, and it usually brings this up during every “setback.”
But here's the crucial thing to remember: Feeling like you're back at square one doesn’t mean actually being at square one.
It's not a reset of your progress, but a moment of intense emotions and experiences that can accompany them. Being back at square one would mean erasing all the growth and learning that happened between then and now, which, frankly, is impossible. Our fears might still be present, but they are not exactly the same as they were in the beginning when we didn’t know what the heck was going on.
Overcoming the “square one” feeling
I've learned that trying to escape the “square one” feeling only amplifies it.
Paradoxically, to overcome this feeling we need to allow it to appear if it wants to. There’s nothing we can do about it anyway (we don’t consciously create it), we might as well treat it as an annoying but harmless guest that occasionally drops by.
Normalizing this feeling, just like any other hyperarousal signal, allows us to continue our journey despite its presence. Until it organically falls off.
The “square one” sensation can emerge at any point – whether at the beginning, middle, or end of our path.
In the latter half of my journey, some of my speed bumps felt as intense as they did at the start. Yet, their intensity wasn’t an accurate measure of my progress. At that time, I didn't realize that feeling this way was perfectly normal, regardless of how “advanced” I was on the path. If I had realized it sooner, perhaps my struggles would have been less intense. But that was a lesson I had to learn the hard way.
Think about all the previous times you’ve felt like being back at square one and realize that even though they felt acute and real back then, things have passed eventually. This time is no different ❤️
Take care!
Alina