Two types of sleep resistance (a new way to look at sleep efforts)
The idea of sleep efforts can feel both simple and confusing at the same time.
At first, learning about sleep efforts is really helpful. It gives us clarity about certain habits or behaviors that may be fueling insomnia – like constantly trying new supplements, changing routines, or obsessing over sleep schedules.
But here’s where it gets tricky: sometimes, our brain takes this idea too far.
Soon, we find ourselves second-guessing every decision, worrying, “Is this still a sleep effort? Am I doing something wrong?”
Ironically, the effort to eliminate all sleep efforts becomes the biggest effort of all.
That’s why I want to offer a different way of looking at this.
P.S. This letter first appeared inside the Fearless Sleep Library – my private space where I share new letters, in-depth posts, and the full course on recovery.
If you’d like to get access to new letters early, along with plenty of other resources, you’re always welcome to join.
At its core, sleep effort isn’t really about what we’re doing – it’s about why we’re doing it.
It’s about resistance we apply in hopes of controlling the outcome of the night.
From my experience, it’s helpful to think of two types of resistance:
Type 1: The obvious (surface-Level) resistance
This type is easier to spot. It shows up in our behaviors and actions:
Taking melatonin or supplements to “force” sleep
Over-exercising to feel exhausted enough to sleep
Avoiding caffeine religiously
Buying gadgets like blue-light blocking glasses or weighted blankets
Following rigid sleep schedules or wind-down routines
These efforts are easy to identify because they’re external – they involve things we do.
Type 2: The subtle (hidden) resistance
This is the deeper layer, and it’s much harder to notice.
Type 2 resistance lives in our thoughts and beliefs – the stories we tell ourselves about what it means to sleep or be awake, the self-judgment about having a bad night, the fear that we’ll “never get better.”
It’s the quiet mental struggle that lingers even after we’ve stopped the obvious sleep efforts.
In fact, many people tell me, “I’ve stopped all the sleep efforts! I drink coffee again, I don’t take supplements anymore, I go out in the evenings… but I’m still struggling.”
When we look closer, we often find Type 2 resistance running in the background – worrying about how they’ll feel tomorrow, judging themselves for being awake, or obsessing over their progress.
Why type 2 resistance matters more
Here’s the tricky part: we can force ourselves to stop behaviors, if we really want to. But we can’t force our mindset to change overnight.
Working with Type 2 resistance takes time and patience. It’s not about eliminating every ounce of resistance all at once – it’s about getting better at noticing it when it shows up.
And trust me – our brain will throw resistance our way during recovery. We can’t predict where it’ll show up next. But we don’t need to.
Instead, we can ask ourselves:
“What am I resisting right now?”
“Is there something I’m trying to avoid or control?”
You might not get an answer right away. That’s okay.
This isn’t about solving everything today, it’s about becoming more aware and curious to the brain’s workings, and learning to let go of the need for perfect control.
The brain will keep trying to come up with new “tricks,” but we don’t need to outsmart it or shut it down.
All we need to do is recognize resistance for what it really is – empty promises our brain offers to keep us engaged in the struggle. And as we get better at noticing it and seeing its true nature, we can gently say, “Not today, brain. Not today.” and then simply carry on with what matters to us.
Take care ❤️
Ali
Awesome and helpful post as always Coach Alina 🥰❤️ thank you!