Want to sleep like Dracula? 🎃 (Halloween special)
The analogy I’m going to write about is kinda silly, but I think it can nicely illustrate our unrealistic expectations on sleep.
But first, I want to apologize in advance to any Dracula fans for my ignorance on the vampire topic. I just used a pop-culture stereotype to get across the sleep message 😛. In reality I know nothing about vampire fiction (but quite a lot about insomnia :).
When I was struggling with insomnia, I always had the image in my mind of what perfect sleep should look like. In a way, it looked a lot like sleep of a classical vampire 😄.
When the time to “rest” comes, he goes to his coffin bed, places his hands on his chest and peacefully descends to a horizontal position. Eyes shut, no restlessness, no awakenings at night. After strictly 8 hours, he opens his eyes, fully refreshed, gets up from his bed and goes about his vampire day. No stupid melatonin supplements, no blue screen filters, no blackout curtains, just undeniable talent to turn yourself off at the right time.
I’m joking here, but that’s approximately how I imagined my sleep “skill“ should look like. And that distorted ideal kept me struggling with insomnia for months.
I once wrote an article about perfect sleep and how it doesn’t exist 🤫 Today I just want to add a bit to it.
Let’s go with the Dracula analogy for a bit longer.
What made an idea of “Dracula’s sleep” so attractive? Well, it’s always guaranteed, controlled, refreshing and uninterrupted.
At the same time, vampire’s sleep seems like his weak spot. To kill him, it was enough to come to his chamber with a wooden stake and poke through his chest while he slept – he wouldn’t hear you coming anyway… because of all of the qualities I described earlier.
Normal human sleep is nothing like that and for a good reason. It is good that we can be woken up. It is good that in the moments of danger we can’t fall asleep. It is literally the advantage of our safety mechanism. So instead of blaming and judging yourself for waking up or not falling asleep fast enough, let’s recognize the real meaning of sleep’s “interruptedness”.
Now, as we enter the insomnialand, we can see how that very safety mechanism begins to work against us – preventing us from sleeping because there is a danger of not sleeping (oh, irony!). But that doesn’t mean that the safety mechanism is broken. On the contrary, it shows that all the alarms and triggers are functioning exceptionally well, it’s just the brain that confused the absence of sleep for a real physical danger. That happens sometimes to all of us.
The first thing to untangle this paradox is plain education. Without knowing how real sleep actually works, we will keep chasing the ideal sleep that a) can not be reached and b) would not make much sense from a survival point if it would be possible (think about vampires!). And as the chase goes on, worry, frustration and fear will accompany us, disrupting our sleep even more.
Embracing sleep natural imperfections and letting the night unfold how it unfolds is the most straightforward way to exit the paradox of insomnia and get your good old sleep back.
⭐️ For those who are new on this journey, I created a beginner’s playlist on my YouTube channel.
🙋♀️ Anyone who wants to learn more about my personal recovery journey, check out this playlist.
🫂 If you need 1-1 support check out my coaching offer.
Happy Halloween and see you next week ❤️
Alina
DISCLAIMER: Not medical advice. Everything in this newsletter and website represents personal opinion and experience and is provided for informational purposes only. The author is not a medical doctor, psychotherapist or any other licensed professional. Any information provided by the author does not constitute and/or substitute medical, psychotherapy, counselling or any other professional advice and treatment. It is not intended to treat, cure, diagnose any medical or psychological condition or disorder. Always seek professional licensed help if you have any health concerns.