A plateau – or a new era in your recovery?
Hey,
This week’s letter is going to be for those who’s been on the path for quite some time. If you are just starting, this letter might not make much sense and that’s okay – you can explore other letters, such as this one. ❤️
Now, here’s a scenario:
We’ve done a great job learning how insomnia works. We understand hyperarousal, sleep efforts, sleep anxiety, all of it. We’ve had some “success” applying the principles, things are moving in the right direction, and then… we hit a plateau.
The very knowledge that helped starts to confuse us. We feel like we understand this stuff inside out, but the understanding doesn’t seem to be helping in the same way anymore.
We begin to scrutinize every little aspect of our experience, trying all the known “tools,” but the relief isn’t showing up. We might even wonder if we know too much – to the point where it starts to feel counterproductive.
If only we could look at all this with the eyes of a beginner again! We know the principles. We’ve seen the progress. But somehow it no longer hits home in the same way… and so we start wondering: “Am I stuck now? Is this a dead end? Have I reached the edge of what this work can do?”
If this sounds familiar, I just want to say: congratulations 🙌 – truly.
You’ve just entered the “advanced” territory.
Yes, I know that sounds weird – but hear me out.
To me, this moment marks a more advanced stage in recovery. The brain has exhausted the basic efforts, and now, in one of its final attempts to stay in the driver’s seat, it starts turning the knowledge itself into an effort to keep fighting and resisting.
This is the stage when education starts feeling like effort. The same concepts that used to support us now bring pressure. But this isn’t a dead end – it’s a sign of how far you’ve come.
I’ve shared this analogy before, and it fits perfectly here: recovery often feels like a video game. The first levels are simpler – it’s easier to spot our efforts and let go of them. But as we gain skill and experience, the game becomes more elaborate too. It’s not because we’re doing worse – it’s because we’ve gotten better. And now the brain is offering us new, more nuanced challenges that match our level. That’s why it feels trickier – it’s the advanced levels of recovery.
So how do we navigate this new territory, where the teachings don’t feel as supportive anymore?
Here’s my take: we can begin to loosen our grip on the principles. Not because they’re wrong – they are still valid – but because our brain has co-opted them. They’ve become another way to try and control the uncontrollable: sleep.
Some examples:
We get fixated on eliminating all sleep efforts. Suddenly everything feels like it might be one. We overthink every choice. Even something simple comes with guilt or second-guessing.
We make anxiety and hyperarousal into a whole new recovery “project”. And ironically, the more we try to “accept” them or “process” them, the more stuck we feel. Then, we worry that’s it’s holding our insomnia recovery back.
We fear seeing the time at night. In the beginning, letting go of clock-watching was freeing. But now even glimpsing the time feels like a failure.
Have you experienced this too? The very tools that once helped have started to feel like another trap.
But this is the new stage in recovery – where adding more concepts, more education, trying harder to accept is no longer necessary. It’s time to push less, simplify, relax the rules.
It’s time to go back to the basics. Which is this: we’re still avoiding being awake at night – but now the avoidance looks fancier, more justified, beautifully complex. And yet, it’s still… avoidance.
This is often the point where many people reach out to me. They’ve been spinning their wheels for a while, wondering why things feel stuck. But they’re not stuck – they might just need to hear: this is all still part of the process, and it’s completely normal.
I hope this perspective on the plateau brings a bit of lightness, some clarity, maybe even a sense of hope. There’s more to say about this stage of recovery, of course, but I’ll stop here, so this letter doesn’t get too heavy.
And if this resonated with you, I’d love to invite you to explore the Library – a growing collection of helpful resources for the greater clarity on the recovery journey.
Take good care ❤️
Alina