Confused which is the right path for you?

Let's talk about that!

Hi there!

The other day, I had a conversation about feeling confused and lost on the journey, and I thought – why not write a letter on this topic!

Let’s be honest, there are loads of approaches and ideas out there about sleep and insomnia. Often, these ideas are contradicting or too abstract. It’s easy to get lost in them. But I have a few thoughts that might bring some clarity.

Your journey will likely be a mix of different approaches and schools of thought.

From my personal experience with recovery, there hasn’t been one method or book that worked for me from start to finish. I had to explore my curiosity and cherry-pick things that resonated. In the end, the destination is the same but there are many paths that can lead us there.

For example, I read scientific papers, self-help books, various blogs, watched videos, and explored books on stoicism and other philosophies. It’s hard to pick the single source that did it for me – it was a combination of many ideas that influenced my thinking, feeling, and behavior.

Don’t be afraid to explore your natural curiosity. Don’t subscribe to just one point of view. It’s your journey, and you can shape it however you want!

Read more on this: “You can shape your path however you wish“

Feeling confused is better than feeling overconfident.

Most of my journey, I remember feeling confused: “I have no idea what I am doing here.” There was no way for me to tell if my choice was going to be the right one. But confusion represents uncertainty, and that’s the biggest lesson we are here to learn: life is uncertain, and we’re better off accepting that and letting go of micromanaging every step. Life gets so much easier then.

The moments of confusion eventually led me to some profound answers (even if it took a long while!); ironically, the moments of rock-solid confidence in what I was doing often led to great disappointment.

The key point: journey isn’t about being good at picking the “right” paths. It’s a process of eliminating what doesn’t feel “ours” and keeping what does.

Don’t be afraid of making the wrong choice – even things that don’t work out provide valuable information. For example, I tried sleep hygiene, which turned out to be useless for me. But if I hadn’t gone that route for a while, I wouldn’t have discovered for myself that this wasn’t for me. I would probably still be wondering if coffee and blue light were the culprits. Empirically, I found out they weren’t. Don’t discount your “unsuccessful” ventures – they hold value in our journeys.

“If I pick this route, will it help me reach my goal?” – No one knows that.

It’s impossible to tell beforehand if the choice we are making is the ultimate or right one. This is part of the uncertainty we need to come to terms with. Through the process of elimination and taking steps, the journey unfolds in front of us. Maybe the decision we are making right now isn’t the final one, but it can lead to more and better choices. See if you can become comfortable with not knowing the answers and having no guarantees – it’s part of the recovery.

More on that: “Seeking reassurance and guarantees can hold us back in our recovery”

That’s all for today. I hope you enjoyed this letter ❤️

Take care and see you next time!

Ali