On trap of fighting with anxiety
Hi friend,
I think it makes sense to talk about one specifically annoying trap of mind: joining the battle with hyperarousal.
As you might know, insomnia revolves around the fear of losing sleep. The more we fear → the more hyperarousal there is and thus → the more awake we become.
At some point of the recovery, hyperarousal starts being viewed as an obstacle to sleep – which is completely logical. It does prevent sleep from happening. But it can also lead to fearing hyperarousal itself. This is when things get really sticky.
Of course it is more difficult to sleep when our “safety system” is on, but it is good to remind ourselves of what hyperarousal actually is.
It is a set of signals that in themselves have no intent to harm or disrupt our sleep and our lives. These signals are supposed to create discomfort because their main goal is to make us act to get to safety as soon as possible.
The ultimate line of work with hyperarousal is to accept and welcome it. However it doesn’t necessarily mean we need to lie to ourselves that it is fun and pleasant – we can’t fool our brains. We can accept while admitting that we don’t like it. Like hiccuping: it’s annoying but also harmless. Plus, it always ends on its own. Same with hyperarousal.
So while there isn’t anything we can do to stop hyperarousal in the moment, we can show support and compassion to our bodies that are going through that hyperarousal phase.
Instead of seeing anxiety and other forms of hyperarousal as our enemy, we can look at it in the way that this is how our body tries to take care of us. For now, it doesn’t really know a better way to help us, but it means well. And with this compassion we can start allowing that hyperarousal to be, because no matter how hard it is, it can’t really harm us.
And while we allow hyperarousal, how can we support ourselves during this though period? Here, our options are unlimited. We can provide for ourselves any comfort that we need: take a break, go for a walk, stay in bed and watch the favourite movies, etc. etc. - the things that you truly wish you could be doing in those tough moments. Sometimes it can be deciding not to do anything at all!
Hyperarousal and the speed bumps inevitably end – we can’t really predict how and when it happens but we can make sure we make that time as comfy as possible.
I want to ask you for a favour 🙂 If you find this newsletter and other Sleep Talks resources helpful, please tell about it to others. It will help the growth of the project ❤️
See you next week, dear!
Alina