Hi friend,
Have you ever found yourself stuck in a sleep pattern? When it seems like sleep comes on a very specific and strange schedule? If yes, keep reading!
The yo-yo stage, when sleep comes in patterns (good nights follow bad nights), can be tiring and frustrating. I’ve been there too and I see people get there occasionally.
The sleep pattern is a very common phenomena and without the proper context it might scare us a lot. But I will try to provide context here ❤️.
In reality, a sleep pattern isn’t a mysterious beast. As with anything during insomnia, it is the way our brain tries to protect us!
The brain, being a super safety machine, hates uncertainty. And whenever it is facing something unknown and unpredictable, it tries to gain control at all costs.
Insomnia is that unpredictable and scary land that makes our brain turn on that control mechanism. But as you probably know, we can’t control sleep – and this is what makes insomnia so excruciating to our brain: it can’t get that situation under control even though it really wants to.
So it begins to look for connections and logic – this is how sleep patterns form.
Sleep pattern is the construct of our mind that tries to make sense of the situation; an attempt to get some feeling of control. And of course those patterns are just the illusions: there is nothing physiological that makes us sleep on certain days and not sleep on others.
But the belief in that pattern is what makes that pattern “alive”. Currently you might believe that after every bad night a good night follows* (*place any other pattern of yours), so you begin to expect it. And with sleep it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When it’s time for the “bad” sleep night, our brains are getting ready for a fight. They get super vigilant – and guess what - it makes it more difficult to sleep!
But as the “bad” night is over, we feel somewhat safe now because we know that a good sleep will follow. That belief helps us let go of trying… thus witnessing a “good“ night sleep 🙂.
But you see, it is only the letting go of control and ceasing trying is what allows sleep to happen – no special nights!
To approach the pattern, we can’t directly try to break it, but we can change the way we perceive it. When we think of it as something that shouldn’t be happening, our desire to “fix” it grows, making us more likely to be awake. But the moment we become okay with having the pattern (as unpleasant as it might be) and allow this pattern to be without self-judgment, our brain stops trying to protect us. Because it is no longer a threat! Paradoxically, this is what allows sleep to happen.
✍️ An extract from coaching notes
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Alina
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DISCLAIMER: Not medical advice. Everything in this newsletter and website represents personal opinion and experience and is provided for informational purposes only. The author is not a medical doctor, psychotherapist or any other licensed professional. Any information provided by the author does not constitute and/or substitute medical, psychotherapy, counselling or any other professional advice and treatment. It is not intended to treat, cure, diagnose any medical or psychological condition or disorder. Always seek professional licensed help if you have any health concerns.
Does accepting the pattern make you expect it more? Thus creating self fulfilling prophecy? Where is the distinction?