Why we don’t think about sleep on good days and on bad ones we can’t stop worrying
Hi friend,
Insomnia can make us feel defeated, abnormal or lost - those feelings are absolutely understandable. I relate so much to that.
Here’re are some insights to support you during this tough period.
You know, the reason why on the good days we feel that we are living our lives and don’t think that much about sleep and on the bad days we feel the exact opposite - lies in how our brains work.
When things are normal, stable and known - we feel like everything is right, we feel normal. And that basically means that we are safe - our brains have no need to “warn” us about any danger - as they simply don’t see any threat on the horizon. It allows us to dedicate time to other areas of our lives and forget about sleep topic.
Once the brain detects a danger – a possibility of not sleeping – it launches its usual “safety alarm”, sending us the signals: sleep-related thoughts (What if…? How about…?), physical sensations (hypnic jerks, heart palpitations, sweating, etc.), emotions (anxiety, fear, sadness, frustration, anger). We need to understand that those signals are a part of one automatic program called "fight or flight" - and it happens without our will.
But guess what: just like these signals automatically appear, they also leave automatically - when the brain finally sees that there is no threat from being awake.
The reason why we spiral down is because we feel that sleep needs to be protected. For example, getting covid can trigger the need to protect our sleep. It is understandable that when we face the unknown or unusual situation, it might impact our state and sleep - it can impact sleep in any human being, even without insomnia!
But it is only the fear around sleep is what makes our struggles intense and prolonged. What I noticed is that, as you keep learning about sleep and insomnia and begin to practice acceptance, awareness, befriending wakefulness, you begin to get less and less triggered by any changes in life. Sure, no one is protected against occasional sleep disruption, and I believe we can all find the cases in our pre-insomnia life when we didn’t sleep much, but the absence of reaction to sleep disruption is what ultimately sets us free from spiralling down in the future.
So the general thought here is to approach hyperarousal and speed bumps with an open mind - and perceive it as an opportunity to face the fear and see that behind it, there is nothing that can harm us.
*Taken from coaching notes
Take care ❤️
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