Thanks for this really helpful letter Alina. Do you have any words or previous letters that speak to feeling pressure to sleep the night before you have to do something? Like going into work, an event, plans you made, etc.? Some nights this pressure doesn’t affect me but a lot of nights it does:(
Totally understand this Cait! You know, I'm sure I've received this question a lot of times in private conversations but I don't remember if I have a newsletter on exact this topic. I will need to add this to the content list!
In short, I would say that normalizing that for the time being pressure on big days is going to be stronger, accepting whatever night happens before that, and using that experience to become more familiar with the fear is the way forward. When we know that before a big even sleep disruption is normal, the pressure to have perfect sleep starts to melt, eventually leading to the place where we don't really "care" whether we sleep much or not - we simply allow things be. I always liked the motto - if you can't sleep, just rest. Hope this helps Cait!
Thank you Alina. I had a one on one with you about a month ago. Do you have a bit more of a structured approach developed? Something like steps to follow?
Hi Michael! I've been pondering a lot on steps and structures for years now. But you know, I find it so hard to have an actionable plan in place which won't create pressure on a person at some point. We can see it on CBTi - that approach is very structured and rigid at times and not many people benefit from that.
But I do have a playlist of introductory videos on my Youtube channel that familiarize a person with the topic and the principles of recovery. In my opinion, it is more helpful to understand the workings of each principle and then use them to create a personalized "setup" that feels more organic, than having a top-down kind of relationship.
I believe this helps a person build trust on their own ability to recover, rather than having trust placed on the external "prescriptions" But I hope that with time the teachings will crystallize into more straightforwards insights!
Hi Alina, It’s nice to read another sleep letter. Somehow I can identify with all three types of starters. But overall I am slow, slow, slow, and I think this is because I still use sleep aids from time to time. They do nothing but prolong the process, even using half the strength as before. Taking meds tells me I still care if I sleep or not, & I feel it is that way for anyone who takes meds, but feels they have recovered. Being awake is safe, truly safe, and when one has truly embraced this truth, feels it in their innermost being, then they have truly recovered. I’m not sure sleep has anything to do with it.
Thanks for this really helpful letter Alina. Do you have any words or previous letters that speak to feeling pressure to sleep the night before you have to do something? Like going into work, an event, plans you made, etc.? Some nights this pressure doesn’t affect me but a lot of nights it does:(
Totally understand this Cait! You know, I'm sure I've received this question a lot of times in private conversations but I don't remember if I have a newsletter on exact this topic. I will need to add this to the content list!
In short, I would say that normalizing that for the time being pressure on big days is going to be stronger, accepting whatever night happens before that, and using that experience to become more familiar with the fear is the way forward. When we know that before a big even sleep disruption is normal, the pressure to have perfect sleep starts to melt, eventually leading to the place where we don't really "care" whether we sleep much or not - we simply allow things be. I always liked the motto - if you can't sleep, just rest. Hope this helps Cait!
Thank you Alina. I had a one on one with you about a month ago. Do you have a bit more of a structured approach developed? Something like steps to follow?
Hi Michael! I've been pondering a lot on steps and structures for years now. But you know, I find it so hard to have an actionable plan in place which won't create pressure on a person at some point. We can see it on CBTi - that approach is very structured and rigid at times and not many people benefit from that.
But I do have a playlist of introductory videos on my Youtube channel that familiarize a person with the topic and the principles of recovery. In my opinion, it is more helpful to understand the workings of each principle and then use them to create a personalized "setup" that feels more organic, than having a top-down kind of relationship.
I believe this helps a person build trust on their own ability to recover, rather than having trust placed on the external "prescriptions" But I hope that with time the teachings will crystallize into more straightforwards insights!
I touched on this topic in these letters:
https://sleeptalks.substack.com/p/you-can-shape-your-path-however-you
https://sleeptalks.substack.com/p/confused-which-is-the-right-path
Thanks for sharing your experience Alina, it’s so helpful to hear from others so we know we’re not alone in our struggles.
Hi Alina, It’s nice to read another sleep letter. Somehow I can identify with all three types of starters. But overall I am slow, slow, slow, and I think this is because I still use sleep aids from time to time. They do nothing but prolong the process, even using half the strength as before. Taking meds tells me I still care if I sleep or not, & I feel it is that way for anyone who takes meds, but feels they have recovered. Being awake is safe, truly safe, and when one has truly embraced this truth, feels it in their innermost being, then they have truly recovered. I’m not sure sleep has anything to do with it.
What do you think?