This sleep letter really rings close to me. Even though I was doing better for a good while, recently was again pretty rough.
I think my main issue with insomnia has mostly to do with self monitoring thoughts about sleep at night. They are like obsessive thoughts that keep coming. I don't know anymore if they keep coming or I just provoke them in a self-destructive or obsessive-compulsive way. I'm constantly like "Am i falling asleep?" or not even that .. just an aknowledgement about falling asleep that disrupts my falling asleep. When they come I don't neceseraly feel any anxiety, just frustration.
You say that thoughts are automatic and we can't control them. But what if some are not? For example I can choose to create some thoughts like, if I want to think of an elephant I can, or I can think of red and switch it to blue. I feel like these are under my control, isn't it so ?
It's like during the night at some points, the thoughts about falling asleep sometimes aren't involuntary, sometimes I think of them just like I can think about an elephant, and that doesn't help me sleep.
I am still fearful of not sleeping and I am not yet accepting my insomnia , so there is still some sort of battle in my mind probably - maybe this is why I have these thoughts ?
Hey Alina,
This sleep letter really rings close to me. Even though I was doing better for a good while, recently was again pretty rough.
I think my main issue with insomnia has mostly to do with self monitoring thoughts about sleep at night. They are like obsessive thoughts that keep coming. I don't know anymore if they keep coming or I just provoke them in a self-destructive or obsessive-compulsive way. I'm constantly like "Am i falling asleep?" or not even that .. just an aknowledgement about falling asleep that disrupts my falling asleep. When they come I don't neceseraly feel any anxiety, just frustration.
You say that thoughts are automatic and we can't control them. But what if some are not? For example I can choose to create some thoughts like, if I want to think of an elephant I can, or I can think of red and switch it to blue. I feel like these are under my control, isn't it so ?
It's like during the night at some points, the thoughts about falling asleep sometimes aren't involuntary, sometimes I think of them just like I can think about an elephant, and that doesn't help me sleep.
I am still fearful of not sleeping and I am not yet accepting my insomnia , so there is still some sort of battle in my mind probably - maybe this is why I have these thoughts ?